Gracefully Frank

Do your own words ever come back to bite you? These don’t actually bite, but they are gracious reminders to not go backwards when I’m tempted. This is a lesson I learned a while ago, and now have the opportunity to recall and be strengthened by in this season. Ebenezer words, if you will. In my corner of the world and work there is a lot going on in anticipation of some good things coming. Sometimes I can borrow trouble from tomorrow thinking it’s going to be too big a bite to chew. In other words, I can be prone to anticipate weakness from time to time. But then, my own past lesson-learned and encouragement comes nipping at my heels. Maybe these words would nip at you this week, hopefully in a good way.

Do you ever look at the road ahead of you and anticipate weakness? You have a choice, and it can make all the difference.

One day, not so long ago, I was on my way home from Toronto . . .

I'm in the Toronto airport with cry eyes. Stress falls out my eyes you guys. Several different emotions tend to do that. It has been a really wonderful few days here with our partner, her husband, and her staff and volunteers. We have learned so much about their global ministry where they are making an amazing impact. I am humbled and emotional and thankful God has allowed me to be a part of this. This morning we went to church with our sweet friends, where the only word I understood was the name "Jesu." That name I could hear loud and clear.

As we drove toward the airport, we began receiving multiple e-mails from the airline that has promised to take us home, that our flight is delayed. First one hour, then another, then another, then another. I calmly told my co-worker, "I am going to cry, and I don't want to talk about it." I'm at the point of the trip where I don't want to talk anymore. I don’t even want to listen. Just let me cry for a minute, because I’m emotional and discouraged that our flight is delayed. I’m anticipating weakness when we get in so late, and I don't like feeling weak. The later our departure time, the later our arrival time, the later I start my drive from DFW back to OKC. As it stands now, it will be very well after midnight before I get back to my apartment and lug my junk back up to my bedroom.

So, I began to cry a little as the stress of anticipating weakness began to creep in on me. I'm going to get in late, I'm going to have a long drive, I'm by myself, I’m tired, and honestly, I don't want to do any of that! I am anticipating struggle and frustration that will probably end in me having to pull over in a ditch somewhere too tired to go on and needing to hunker down and pray for daylight. Or, being out on the road this late, I’ll stop at a creepy gas station with blinking lights and crickets everywhere, and then next week the video footage of me walking in but never leaving will be on the nightly news. Not that that could happen since I’ve attended two Krav Maga self-defense classes, but my imagination can run away with me when I start feeling weak. As I caught myself going through the worst-case scenarios just now, I suddenly thought "why don't I anticipate strength?" Why don't I anticipate that I'm going to have exactly the strength I need to get where I'm going? Why don't I anticipate that the road will rise beneath me? Why don't I anticipate that I will stop at a well-lit place for gas and get a great cup of coffee and turn on some of my favorite songs and knock out that drive as if I were headed to Barnsdall on a Saturday morning circa 1985 with my Dad behind the wheel?

Why don't I anticipate strength? How many scriptures do I need to read and believe before I anticipate His help and strength first? How many times can I encourage others to anticipate strength and still melt when I am faced with needing it, or at least try to politely check out of all encouragement and wallow a little bit. (Dear world, I'm going to have a mental pity party. So, as you see me sit over here and cry just leave me alone a little bit.) He will supply all my needs. He is my strength. He will complete what He has started. He loves me and is with me. Whatever weakness I assume I will have once I land back in Dallas is a made-up story in my head because I’m not even there yet. It's not unreasonable to anticipate it may not be the easiest thing I've ever done, or that I will be tired, but to sit here in Canada crying about it is feeling more and more silly each time my finger falls on one of the letters of this keyboard. I will have the strength I need. To get home. To get my work done. To go to Africa in two weeks. A trip that I have not even been able to think about this week but is now loading up on my already tired emotions. As I anticipate weakness later tonight, all anticipated weakness for the next 6 months to a year starts to flood my thoughts. But, again, I have a choice: anticipate weakness or anticipate strength. The one I choose will drastically affect my decisions, my mood, my peace, my joy, and the people in my life. I can stand on a promise tonight and drive home in grace or give in to doubt and drive home in misery. Either way, I'm driving to Oklahoma City. Choose wisely. Whether I anticipate strength or weakness, I’ll have it. His grace will be sufficient for me.

Is there some circumstance in your life where you are anticipating weakness? Are you getting under the table and hiding from it? Are you moving forward, but with dread? If I get under the table today, I won't get home. What might you miss if you anticipate weakness instead of being confident that God will give you the strength to get you home? Get you healthy? Get you free? Get you the blessing? Anticipate strength and go forward in grace. Even when the road is long and dark tonight, I will have the strength to get on down it, and at the end of that road is right where I want to be.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Psalm 46:1-5

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

5 comments

I have been egregious in drawing conclusions multiple times. If you google the word egregious you get definitions like "outstandingly bad" and "extraordinary in some bad way." Not like mean bad, just super wrong. It’s usually centered on me trying to figure out what God was doing or what someone else was doing. I’ve definitely had my share of times when I was right (I want to type out loud for the record), but I've also been wrong on everything from ideas to relationships to jobs. Those seem to be the times I learn the most.

Here is a short step-by-step example of how I have sometimes drawn conclusions:

1) I prayed for something.

2) Something happened that maybe kind of looked like what I was praying for under the right light.

3) I drew a conclusion, or assumed I understood what God is doing and my actions begin to be motivated by the conclusion I drew. “I smell what you are cooking, God. Let me go ahead triple the cumin and add some Head Country barbeque sauce (because, Ponca City), and I’ll take it from here.”

Then, as I began to focus on them, or that, or whatever situation I assumed, I began taking a few of my own steps trying to help the situation along, instead of waiting on the Lord to create the path, answer my prayer, or lead me to His purposes.

There have been times that I have been both overly romantic and overly pragmatic because I assumed what God was doing. In the whole history of Haley, I’ve done everything from practice writing my new last name based on relationship assumptions I’ve made, to sending out resumes and emails trying to get myself in jobs or meetings where I thought I should be. In hindsight, sometimes and so far, my assumptions about certain people, places, or things were not right and they didn’t lead to where I thought God was leading. Honestly, many times I would feel a little check in my spirit when I started to get ahead of myself, but I convinced myself I was being wise. In those times past, I just stepped right on over that little check. Although I am still tempted, I do less crack stepping over now, because I’ve learned a couple of things.

Here are a couple of things I've learned:

- If God is in it, I can wait for it because it's coming. Whether it's writing a book, His provision, relationships, jobs, apartments, a church home, etc. it's "yes" and "amen" when God is in it. It seems none of these ever come in my timing, but they do come in His as I just keep doing the next right thing. He doesn’t need my help, He just wants my “yes” and my trust.

- If it's not coming, God is still in it. I may just not be headed where I assumed He was taking me or the timing may be off. Maybe He was refining my heart, teaching me to love unconditionally, trust Him completely, or allowing me to be part of a moment of refining for someone else? Our journey is personal, but parts of it He may entrust us to a situation or circumstance for someone else. The fix is to stop assuming His answer, and start trusting his heart. It relieves so much pressure to know God has led and is leading me, and that I don’t have to figure it all out in advance. Even though I WANT TO really bad. His plans aren’t dependent on me catching the coincidences or clues, they are just dependent on staying with Him.

It's so easy to see a squirrel and start chasing rabbits. If we allow it, those coincidences and conclusions become not only our motivation to act, but they become our justification to believe or not believe. Our belief in God, or trust in Him, gets wrapped up and contingent on how we assumed He would move in the situation when our desires lead our assumptions. But, what happens when we are wrong? Even egregiously wrong. When we assume what God is doing, and we assume incorrectly, our belief that God IS doing can be shaken or even destroyed. Assuming incorrectly isn’t a sin. It just can lead to disappointment and disillusionment that we shouldn’t have to walk through. Just like assumptions and unmet expectations can harm any relationship, they harm our relationship with the Lord.

It's good and well to walk steps out when something pops up, seems of interest, or seems like too much to just be a coincidence. God does stuff like that. He has done stuff like that in my life several times. ("816" being a significant one for me if you've read what I've shared before.) But when we laser lock our focus and we decide prematurely that we know what God is doing, we are in danger of testing God not trusting him. We should take those moments and coincidences and make ourselves available to the person, place, or situation and see what comes through … it’s called living life. Psalm 46:10 says: “Be still and know that I am God.” Not be still and do nothing. Keep doing. Just be authentic and trust God with the outcomes. We don't have to manipulate circumstances when God is in it. Every “yes” and every “no” gets us where we are supposed to go. Don’t demand one or be crushed by the other. (I like to say "we" a lot when I write because it makes me feel like there are a lot of us that have done this stuff and not just me.)

There is a difference in walking in faith and walking around being tossed about by coincidences and drawing conclusions that we start to try to build a foundation on. Faith has a foundation – the goodness of God. If coincidences are evidence of what God is doing, then someday you can look back on those things as confirmation and share your story of how God lit your path. Just be careful to not allow them to become your motivation focus until God has revealed enough of the path for you see where its going. You could be egregiously wrong and your relationship with him suffer a blow that your heart has to wrap around. Be motivated by your belief that God is faithful and He is at work in your life. Walk relationships and opportunities out and see where they go. Live the life He's given you. Just don’t force your own path based on assumptions and coincidences that could lead to regrets. Trust Him for your future, so when the time comes, you can praise Him for your past.

No comments

I’m just one voice in one corner. Some may say my voice is too quiet, not qualified, too privileged, not loud enough. There will always be people who will judge my voice, or the voice of others, and find them greatly lacking. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Or, “You have no right to speak.” The fear of those responses can tempt me to be quiet at times. I can worry about saying what some might think is the wrong thing and stay silent. But, when I look to Jesus and I am most concerned about what He thinks about how I respond as a part of His body, that’s when I begin to find my voice.

As my Lord, I am accountable to Him. When I lean into Him, He breaks my heart for what breaks His. He has called us through His Word, to love one another (John 15:12), to help carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), and to be his light (Matthew 5:15-16) to a world where fear and hatred is spreading. I desire to do that in my everyday life, not just for view of others on Facebook, but this is one place the world watches for followers of Jesus to reflect Him and not be hypocritical or silent. So from my corner, for Jesus, for the love of my brothers created in the image of God with nothing to do about the color of skin and everything to do with the dignity of our shared humanity given us by God the Father who loves us, I believe the murder of George Floyd was a sin against God. We are under attack from an enemy inciting a war. Arrows are aimed in many directions against brothers whom God himself created in His image whatever color their skin may be. Our battle is not with flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12). It is heartbreaking to consider any line of thought that allows men to shoot someone in broad daylight during a jog, or to put their knee on a man’s neck draining his life from him or any other reckless taking of life that comes from some sense of either entitlement or victimization.

We have a higher calling of justice. We are accountable to a greater law of love. We must be about protecting life which Jesus died to save regardless of race which God delighted in creating, regardless of our perception of their righteousness or lack thereof, or whether they are peaceful in their pain or acting out in it. We cannot be on sides characterized by the color of our skin when we are under His covering. There is one side: God’s, the Creator of all of heaven and earth. We have the responsibility to respond as He directs and not act in response to those around us trying to direct us according to an earthly agenda.

But, we must respond. Not by adding fuel to a fire, and pointing out how we think everyone is responding either correctly or incorrectly, but by covering the fire in prayer and in action even from our own corners. Instead of looking at black or white, right or left, look up. Look past sin to the need of a man’s heart. Look at your own heart ... is it growing in love, peace, forgiveness, and empowerment to be the change? Or is it growing in fear, rage and self-righteousness to demand that others change? Who’s voice are you listening to? What are you feeding your soul? George Floyd was my brother under God. I pray for justice for him and I even pray for mercy for the man who took his life. I’m in awe of our God who gives both. I pray the Church will fan the fire of reconciliation which Jesus has already accomplished for us.

No man’s dignity will be raised when another man’s dignity is lowered. Our dignity is God-given not earned or assigned by man. Jesus died for our unity. I don’t know what others have suffered and I will not be condescending to their pain by trying to act as if I do. But, I do know Christ died for and loves all of us and there is no distinction in His eyes. If I follow him, I will naturally fight for my brothers because He fought for us all. I am saying, first to myself even as I hit send on this, to rise up and be the light God has given us where he has put us. Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8). I don't know what all needs to be done, but I believe we can start there.

David’s confession and plea for mercy and forgiveness in Psalm 51 has repeatedly come to mind these past several days. David had Uriah murdered to cover up his own adultery with Uriah’s wife. Uriah was innocent, and David killed him. God was as just then as He is now. David suffered consequences of his great sin, and God was merciful and gave forgiveness in David’s true repentance. It is a forgiveness only possible through God himself when such great injustice has happened. We have a choice to either keep lighting the fires of injustice, constantly pointing it out but not necessarily participating as an agent of change, or bring the rain of mercy through the Love of Jesus Christ to the world that is burning around us.

We do that practically even today when we post things on social media- are we pouring gas or are we dousing flames? Are we pleading for unity or widening the divide? We do that practically even today when we go to the store, interact with our neighbors, with our families and coworkers. I’m not saying fall back and just let injustice continue for the sake of peace. There is no peace when we let injustice continue. We have to speak up. But, we have to speak up from the starting point of Christ because nothing else unites us like He does. I will not apologize for the race God put me in or for the races He put others in as I believe that He intended to be glorified in all of them. He has great and glorious plans in creating us and none of us had anything to do with our own creation, nor did we begin the divide that separates us now. But, are we working to heal it or start another battle? I will grieve and repent of my sin and my failures to honor Him in my relationships with others, and I will stand against the enemy who continually rages against us to separate us, especially within the Church. Click here to read David's Prayer in Psalm 51

I woke up this morning to a prayer sent to me overnight by my sister in Africa. She messaged, "My dear sister let me pray for you. God kept giving me the burden." I want to share her voice and part of her prayer with you this morning. She and I roomed together several times as we served together in her country. I would wake up each morning between 3 and 4 AM to this voice speaking her prayers out loud for the people and the day ahead of us. This is the love and unity that relationship through Jesus Christ gives us. It has nothing to do with me or her, where we were born, or the color of our skin... our love for one another has everything to do with Him in us. He grows our love for one another. He unites us "across oceans," across state lines, across injustice. Lord, unite us into one family even today, as we demonstrate your love in our corners across the world, "because of the blood of Christ, we are one family."

No comments

It was May 2019. I sat in church listening to a sermon that I no longer remember but, I do remember at the end of it the pastor wanted us to do one of those group activities when everyone is supposed to get up and go forward. To be honest, if I participate at all, I’m usually a reluctant participant in those types of moments. If it’s my genuine heart, I do; if my heart isn’t really there, I won’t. The pastor wanted us to write something we needed to surrender to God on a piece of paper. I watched as people began to write. Some started to stand to their feet and take their paper down front where they were supposed to put them somewhere (I don’t remember right now where. Maybe in a bucket?). I certainly didn’t plan on walking down to the front, but I laid my piece of paper on top of my journal and got ready to write down what has been the most consistent surrender of my life: marriage; and the most painful surrender of my life: having children. It’s not that those things were even troubling me that day, as we’ve won some battles together in those areas. But, those had apparently become my pat response regarding surrender. My pen was ready to jot down what had become usual, but as it touched the paper I felt a check in my spirit that my status quo was not what I needed to give the Lord. I needed to go deeper. . .

“Will you surrender to me the way that I made you?” Whaaaat?

Over the next few weeks, I prayed about and considered what that meant. What it meant has marked a significant change, if even sometimes a slow change, for me. I haven’t written about it, but I told God I would be faithful to say it out loud anytime I felt prompted. He has given me several opportunities to talk one on one with others about this. But, as I am having a much needed slow weekend, guess who is feeling prompted to write it out.

He asked, “Will you surrender to me the way that I made you?” And, this is what I came to realize:

First of all, I have been loved and have felt accepted by people and I’m incredibly grateful for the love and acceptance in my life. But, I have struggled with insecurities at times. If you've read my blog or book, if you and I have been the kind of friends that we've ever sat on a couch, in a coffee shop, or in our pajamas as we shared about our lives, you won't be surprised by this. I think that most people have some insecurity about something. I've struggled with insecurity about my body, my abilities, my singleness for instance. Those are a few examples, but not a complete list. No matter how many good things we hear, sometimes its the things we don't hear or that one hurtful thing we do hear that sticks with us. Satan fills empty spaces and reminds us of unkindness.

I know Satan is a big name to throw in there. But, we have been told that he is at the center of distraction and temptation and separation from God. “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 ESV He has tried to devour me at times with insecurity. Maybe he has tried to devour you the same way? Our battle is not with flesh and blood (whoever has built on our insecurities) (Ephesians 6:12), and it can’t be won with flesh and blood either (approval from others). It can only be won through the One who has already won the battle. That’s a lot of “wons,” but stay with me, because the battle is fixing to turn.

“Will you surrender to me the way that I made you?” So - real talk - the most significant personal pain in my life has been centered around rejection and shame. Feeling unlovable and being embarrassed by it. A lot of what we believe about ourselves is learned at young ages, but the enemy of our souls can jack with us at any age. Circumstances or people in our homes, our schools, our relationships, our work, or our cultures can begin building insecurities in our lives that left unchecked, uncorrected, or unhealed can begin to sway our confidence or direction.

Right or wrong, who is to blame, who is not to blame --- all of these discussions can be good to work through so we know what "wrong belief" or "insecurity" about ourselves we have been believing. Where have we been seeing ourselves through the eyes of others instead of through the eyes of God? It's difficult to practice right beliefs until we can understand how our wrong beliefs developed so we may discredit them. But, rehearsing or explaining the root of our insecurities to justify them doesn’t make them go away. I think sometimes we spend more time trying to feel justified in our pain, rather than getting set free from it.

When in my spirit, God asked “Will you surrender to me the way that I made you?” he was asking me to surrender my insecurities. I've learned that anything He asks me to surrender, has been worth it. My insecurities are at times the main distractions for me to serve Him unabashedly and trust him fully. “But, I’m NOT this or that.” “I’m too this or that.” “You haven’t given me this or that, so I am lacking this or that.” I have won many battles in this area before as he has helped me fight through fear and disappointments. He has been patient and faithful and compassionate, but when he asked me this question, he was preparing to turn the tables of insecurity on me a bit.

As I started down this trail with God in my time with Him, in His word and in discussion with Him (prayer), He gave my insecurity a new name: vanity. He has told me who I am in Him. He has been revealing my identity in him. So as I bring old struggles of insecurity into new life, it’s no longer a wound to pet; it’s a sin to confess. I’m not rejected. I’m not unloved. I’m being vain. I’m over-regarding myself, too focused on how I am viewed. Worried about things I would gently refer to as insecurities, that He was asking me to confess as vanities.

Insecurity is a pain I struggle with.

Vanity is a sin I confess and Jesus sets me free of.

Instead of falling to the temptation to rehearse cruel words, rejections, unkindness, and pain and then asking God to heal me, I realized I needed to begin seeing how that pain had ultimately led to my own sin. In confessing insecurities as vanity, I could be set free instead of just being helped along.

Jesus can relate to being rejected and shamed. He isn’t saying “suck it up Haley; quit being such a self-centered jerk.” But, I believe through the evidence of His life, His Word, and His Spirit in me, he is saying, “I know, Haley. Forgive. Lay it down. Confess how that pain has led to your own sin, and let me cleanse you of it.”

We can strive. We can get new clothes, new friends, new hair, new jobs, new accomplishments, new self-help books on insecurity. People can try to convince us we are loved and appreciated. For every rejection, we can have 100 acceptances, but that will continue to grow our dependence on people and circumstances to heal. People and circumstances do not win soul battles. Jesus does.

Honestly, I have graciously had a lot of compassion and encouragement in my life. But for this, I needed the Holy Spirit's conviction and the freedom found when I take it to Jesus and ask him to clear away the vanity.

"Yes, God. I will surrender to You, the way You have made me."

Soon after this realization began, I had to practice this change in context. We’ve been doing new initiatives at the ministry where I work that has involved video production. I’ve been asked to be a part of some of these projects, and if you have been following my blog over the years, or read my book, you know my answer to being involved has been “Yes, Lord.”

As I would get up in the morning before taping and the struggle would begin, feeling like I didn’t have the right clothes, or my hair was frizzy, or my skin not clear, or my presentation too “Haley-ish” instead of professional, or that I am not capable enough to be in this position … I would stop and confess that “insecurity” as “vanity.” That sin of vanity was building a wedge between me and where God was asking me to be. I still want to be the best of how he made me. I didn't throw my curling iron away, stop shaving, and wear sweats to work. And, I’m not walking around now mondo-cocky that I'm a daughter of the King and I'm perfect as-is. I don't want to be insecure OR over-secure. I want to be well with myself, others, and with Him, in my soul.

There are days this is easier and days this is more difficult. But, He has spoken into this area of my life and now I do have a new fight plan. Or rather, a new flight plan for this Sky God is asking me to fly through. He heals us of our pain and cleanses us of our sin. Accepting His compassion for my pain is easier than accepting his rebuke for my sin. But, where His compassion brings me comfort and encouragement, His rebuke cleanses and empowers me. His question and help are changing me.

What wound are you petting?

I’m not saying you’re wrong for being hurt by your wound, so just change your perception of it. I am suggesting you consider what response in you has that wound developed?

How are you coping with the pain?
How are you justifying your response?
How is your current course of behavior motivated by it?
Has the enemy tempted you to sin because of it?
Have you become envious, gluttonous, greedy, lustful, prideful, slothful, vengeful, or even vain? I have at times.

Satan takes our weakness, our wounds, our pain and tempts us into deeper pits of our own making while we feel justified by pain.

Jesus takes our weakness, our wounds, our pain and tells us to forgive. He sets us free of it, instead of enslaving us to it. He tells us no-one can define who we are except for the Father, our Creator. In human terms think . . . “no one puts Baby in a corner.”

“God, I surrender the way you made me. I surrender any feelings of rejection, shame, or injustice that I have let become part of my identity. I surrender to you whatever notions of lacking that are coming on me. The truth is, I lack everything, and have only what you have given me. It won’t be my wisdom, my words, my body, or my clothes that will accomplish what you’ve asked me to accomplish. It won’t be by might nor by power, but by Your Spirit. Forgive my vanity. Cleanse me. Thank you, Lord for your compassion and conviction to care for me and transform me. Now, let’s get on with it. In Jesus' name, Amen.”

One fear I have in posting this is the friends who will hold me accountable to this when I start to rehearse old news. Thank you, Jesus, for those friends. I hope, if you've read this and can relate at all, you find some friends who are a little mouthy like mine. Sit next to them, drink a little coffee, and talk about good things to come.

2 comments

“Peace be to the brothers, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible.” Ephesians 6:13

I remember walking into my office one day, several years ago, and finding a copy of “The Economist” magazine on my desk. My boss had put it there hoping it would take root. God had given him a mind for business to go with his heart for Christ. He studied the economies of people groups. He said if you understand their economy you understand the people. I think there is probably a lot of truth to that, but that is not specifically the mind God gave me to go with my heart for Christ. I think I read one article though, just to pour a little water on that seed he tried to plant to see if maybe it would grow. It didn’t really.

Around that time, I had an upcoming month-long trip that was to include two opposite climates, three different continents, four different languages, many different people of varying socio-economic backgrounds, and one me: a girl with white skin from Oklahoma Southern Baptist land who was still giving it all she had to just walk onto the airplane. That was back when I traveled alone for many of our missions, and although my conviction outweighed my lack of courage I was still dragging one foot as I was trying to lift off. Time and emotion literally would not allow me to read enough magazines and books on the histories and economies of cultures so vastly different from my own to adequately understand them. And yet, by God’s grace, I would be standing in front of them in just a few weeks trying to teach and share with them what He was equipping and leading me to teach and share. Who is the smartest person you know? Even if I had been them, I’m not sure I could have become a cultural expert in time to make everything I said culturally relevant to them.

As I entertained thoughts of insecurity, inadequacy, and inability He reminded me of His calling to “feed His sheep” because I loved him. He hadn’t called me to become culturally relevant, He had called me to become Christ-centered in my life, through the ministry of counseling, and wherever He leads. Christ is the one who is culturally relevant. As I center on Him, read about Him, apply Him – the message He wants me to share will be applied culturally by the Holy Spirit who is the one who is the cultural expert. I don’t share or teach as a white Baptist female from Oklahoma, I share and teach as a follower of Jesus Christ.

“And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 2:1-5

The only kink in that plan is: I can’t make that decision, as Paul did, for the people He calls me to.

I know for certain there have been times and places where people could not hear what I had to share because they immediately disqualified me from having anything applicable to them based on my own demographics or lack of cultural experience. She is a woman. She is white. She is American. She is not from here. She is not married. She is not a mother. She does not have a Ph.D. By some, I get sized up by either what I am or what I am not and they determine in advance to either listen or tune out. I know for certain this has happened because some people have been bold enough to speak their disqualifications out loud to a room full of people after I called on them for raising their hand. After I shared something that maybe didn’t sit well with them personally they would say: … “yes, but here…” or “this is just how it is here in our culture…” They would give themselves an out from conviction based on their assumption that what I was teaching was not culturally relevant to them, instead of accepting possible conviction from being taught what was Christ-culturally relevant.

At first, though, those comments were intimidating to me because they fed right into the same insecurities I was saying to the Lord. “Why me?” “Shouldn’t someone else be doing this?” But, the more those questions came up, the more I had to face them. I had a choice: either let those “you don’t know our culture” comments drive me home or let His Spirit and sharing His hope drive me forward. Once I was committed, He grew my courage and put words on my tongue because He is faithful. They were busy looking at me instead of listening for Him. I could have recognized that potential distraction and chosen to stay home, or I could keep saying yes to the One who kept sending me. One option had me bowing to a culture; the other had me bowing to the Lord. I decided to embrace the conflict instead of being offended by it, and use it as an opportunity to redirect.

I’ve come to expect this type of push-back in almost every country, and I’ve come to hope it comes sooner than later so we can get past it. “You are right. I don’t know your culture. I’m not here as an expert on your culture. You are the experts who must listen for the Holy Spirit to know how to apply. I am here because you have said your families and homes are hurting and you want to help them. I’m here because that is my calling, too. God has called me to help you know better how to apply His Word to your everyday lives. Once you know what His Word says, you have the opportunity to realize if you have been handling your circumstances, no matter how trivial or traumatic, in accordance to Him or in contradiction to Him. Then you have a choice to keep doing things as you have always done them or begin following Christ in whatever area of conviction you find yourself facing. That goes for me, too.”

Once the cat is out of the bag, and we are all on the same page that I am not there to tell them their business, but to help them consider His business, then we have the opportunity to discuss where we may be elevating or enslaving ourselves to our cultures and histories rather than elevating or serving Christ. I say we because my culture is smack dab in the middle of needing to ask ourselves this as well. The ministry of counseling is a lot about our well-being, and our well-being is a lot about our expectations and the “outs” we give ourselves out of sympathy or entitlement as we fight surrendering our human and uncertain will to the good and loving will of the Father in our hearts, our homes, and our cultures. I’m thankful for every opportunity to clear the air and say out loud what is sometimes difficult to say so that we can get to the meat of what He is doing in bringing us together. The friends I have served with over these years have had the opportunity to see Him do some amazing things in hearts and lives. Obviously not because of who I am or what I know about them, but because of who He is and what He knows about us.

What if the Corinthians, the Galatians, the Ephesians, the Philippians, or the Colossians had disqualified Paul because he wasn’t from their neighborhood, didn’t look like them, didn’t speak like them. What if the elders in those cities had encouraged ethnocentrism and discouraged listening to Paul? Who are we discrediting because they are not from our neighborhood? What pastor or teaching do we consider different than us, so we can’t hear what they say? Are you feeding into this in your neck of the Church? Or are you feeding into what Scripture says: that under Christ we are brothers and sisters. Our relevance is about His blood, not the skin or location He put us in.

God created diversity and we are created in His image. We should live out His ordination of the culture we are born into. Celebrate our cultures, be aware of and embrace our differences, share our perspectives our music our meals our sorrows and our joys because through Christ we are united. We don’t have to all start walking and talking the same, but our walk and our talk should look more like Christ whatever language we speak or shoes we wear.

Honor and celebrate the cultures God created us in, but don’t bow to them. We are not meant to be lorded by our culture. We are to glorify God in our culture and be lorded by Christ. I don’t think God would have created them if He didn’t take delight in the many different cultures He’s made. I think He maybe drinks Turkish coffee in the morning, enjoys a meal stewed in rich curry, and occasionally hosts a fish fry that I am sure my Grandpa Corky contributes to. If he has a hat rack I bet a dhaka, a yarmulke, and a cowboy hat all hang from it. Do you think he calls it soccer or futbol? I imagine the harmony of an African choir gives him goosebumps and prayers whispered in underground churches in Asia sets him on His feet. The saints, who have sat in pews around this nation and prayed for their grandchildren, whatever the name on the door of the church, have His attention. He wouldn’t enter into dreams of those in lands of sand who have a pure heart to know God if he had one millisecond of concern about culture. He died for those He loves, but many times instead of operating out of that love we busy ourselves with rather or not someone understands where we are coming from, instead of listening to what God may teach us about where we could be going. The Gospel doesn't come from our own perspective -- it comes from His.

God has given me the opportunity to face this perspective in many places and I’m sharing it out loud as a couple of recent conversations have prompted me to put this into words. If we focus on teaching “to” a people instead of teaching “on behalf” of the Savior we are coming from the wrong perspective. If we demand to be taught from our own perspective instead of from Christ’s perspective we may be disqualifying the called and perpetuating the division we claim is the problem in the Church. Is your culture the “most” thing about you? Or, is Jesus? Your answer to that will either bring us closer together or separate us further.

Is my love for Christ incorruptible and unifying, or cultural and dividing? What is yours?

Writing today had me thinking of that particular trip that was coming up after "The Economist" was intentionally laid on my desk and I had to really think about from where my strength, wisdom, and perspective needed to come. Here are some of my favorite pictures from those three continents. Vastly different people and places - one consistent unifying hope.

No comments

Even the sun realizes it’s impossible to shine at 5am. With sleepy eyes and dragging feet, I lugged my suitcases, much lighter than when I arrived, down the steps of the little upstairs apartment that has been home for a few days, toward my friends and their car that would take me to the airport. It’s the day to leave. It feels like I’ve been gone longer than the number of days passed would suggest, but it has been a blessed and encouraging time in Cuba.

It was too dark outside to capture any of the moments passing outside my non-rolling-down window. I would say 74.2% of the pictures I take are from the seat of a car outside a window on our way to the next training or visit. I like capturing moments of real life in the places the Lord takes us. I try to keep my phone balanced on the window sill of the door and subtly snap the shot. Many are blurry, but some bring the life on the side of the road into focus.

As we drove to the airport we passed a scene that has come to mind often since leaving. On top of a small cement-block home with bars on the windows was a wooden manger covered with rows of Christmas lights. It was maybe 6ft wide and 4ft tall. I’m not a good judge of that kind of thing, but it was not super small. Inside the stable scene where you would expect to see the people of the nativity there where 3ft tall figures made out of hard plastic and fading color with mainly only the red of their clothes still visible.

It wasn’t Jesus. There was no Mary or Joseph. The only figures inside the stable were two wise men. My assumption is that over the years the other figures must have been broken or lost somehow and had been irreplaceable. My friend told us that for many years there were no Christmas decorations available in the country. They could only decorate inside churches and, just like their cars, they could only use what Christmas decorations they already had before the revolution. But on the roof of the home we drove by, even with the figures that were lacking to fulfill the full nativity scene, all of the same care and work of putting up those decorations had been given. They only had two wise men, but they proudly and reverently put those guys up there to shine brightly into the night. Anyone who saw them shining would know the Holy Night and the birth of our Savior that they represent. The people who slept under the roof below made the best and brightest of what they had been given, and their joy multiplied at least to me, and probably to many others.

Taking some liberties with their story here, I imagine their kids and grandkids still loved to see those two wise men lit up in all their faded plastic glory at Christmas. Having come to know more about the heart and the spirit of the Cuban people, I imagine they didn’t take much time to regret the figures that had been lost over the years. I imagine that the contented sigh and thrill of the moment those two light up is still as sweet as it ever was, year after year.

I have been given much and I am missing much. Probably most of anyone reading this could say the same no matter what their nativity scene looks like as people pass by it in cars on the street. But, you guys, at the very least, I certainly have two wise men. Probably most of anyone reading this could say the same. I am so thankful to climb up on the rooftop of the life I’ve been given and string up the lights around the stable and excitedly plug in all I have to shine brightly into the dark to represent the scene of the One I worship and adore.

Maybe you only have two wise men. Maybe you have two wise men, a donkey, and Mary. Hopefully, you have Jesus. Whatever you have, practice plugging in what is yours and shine brightly.

After leaving Cuba I met a colleague in Washington D.C. to talk about sharing hope in her country. I would have met her anywhere the Lord made available, but it was here. I’ve always wanted to come here. I had one full day and a few intermittent hours one evening and one morning to plug in my own two wise men and delight in what I have been given. I am so incredibly delighted to have visited here and so incredibly thankful to be on my way home. Here are a few moments from the past couple of weeks...

Sunrise over OKC.

This is the first church we visited.
Their Christmas Pageant was held the night before we began.

The church in Havana.

The night I arrived in D.C. it was snowing. It was so beautiful!

Arlington National Cemetery

From the Museum of the Bible.

The White House.

Merry Christmas, friends. Plug in your nativity. Celebrate the Savior and all you've been given in this life, no matter what may seem to be missing. Don't miss all the lights that are burning for the few that have gone out or may have never been lit (said a good friend one time). Shine Brightly.

Usually, there is one song that ends up being the theme song for each journey. A few days before I left home this song came to mind, and I've played it (and prayed it) on repeat for most of the trip. If you want to hear a beautiful song, that goes with this time and these pictures you can listen by clicking this link:

Thank you, Jesus, by Hillsong Worship

No comments

Gracefully Frank

H.S.

Categories

recent posts

Blog Archive

Search This Blog

Gracefully Frank

H.S.

Categories

recent posts

Blog Archive

Search This Blog

copyright 2017