Golden Moments

by - September 11, 2011

I am on a train, sitting still, moving at a high rate of speed. I have pulled out my pink 1st generation ipod mini and am currently listening to my favorite mix of Pride and Prejudice soundtrack, Yo Yo Ma, and Zoe Keating. I like this sound to track the setting sun and Texas/Oklahoma pasture land show that is passing by my window. As this train rolls down the tracks that have been here for years and years we pass horses and cows, small towns, farm houses. I wonder who lives there. Did they laugh today? Did they cry today? Are they sitting in their favorite chair? Do they have hope? Are they bored? I'm pretty sure they like John Wayne, biscuits and gravy, and Friday night football. Most of the curtains on the train are drawn except for mine. The sun is beaming in and the lady on the other side of the aisle has kind of caught my eye a couple of times as if to ask if I'm going to pull the curtains next to me that would save her eyes. I'm not though. So I'm not going to turn my head toward her again. I like this golden moment. Besides the two borderline elderly, borderline inebriated couples that sit directly in front of me ("I don't know if I should have another drink Jer, I've had two today." I got this've had enough Nancy. Why don't you just rest your eyes.) I like this golden moment. Beautiful music. Beautiful sunset. On my way home.

I have seen some beautiful places this year. Places I never dreamed I would go. In Israel I prayed in the garden of Gethsemane. I walked along the shore where Jesus told Peter to feed His sheep. I stood in Nazareth. As in Jesus of Nazareth. There is a Kentucky Fried Chicken there now. I stood on the temple grounds where Christ will come back. That's hard to fathom, but I can. Within a few months of being there I held laughing orphaned children in my arms in Africa. I felt the rain that falls everyday in Ethiopia during their rainy season to water the land farms aren't equipped to water. Their reliance on God is great in a land not of plenty, and our God provides. I met and walked with beautiful people living lives of humility with an abundance of grace. More than I can express beautiful. My thoughts continually go back to these places, even as I recommit my focus to my calling in Texas. These passed few weeks I've spent a lot of time surrendering all over again to the Lord. Even kind of struggling through processing what all has happened this year, the drama and trauma of it all, and trying to figure out what God is doing in all of this and what I need to be doing. Where would I not go? Who would I not trust Him with? What would I not allow Him to comfort me in? What would I not praise Him through? Nowhere. No one. Nothing. But He has put my heart and mind at rest (finally), showing me that for now, I do what I know for sure He called me to do, and what I love doing each day with people I am grateful to serve with. So, my head is back in the game, and I am peacefully settled waiting on God to call plays. "Who is the man who fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way he should choose." Psalm 25:12 "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:6

As she sat on the train she wrote about her life; where the year had taken her, where the train was taking her, and where the road ahead would take her...

The sun is totally set now. It's black outside except for when we roll into a little town, or pass a refinery that I like to pretend is a far off big city. We also make quick stops at the little train stations between Fort Worth and Oklahoma City. At night especially they look like a movie scene where Bogart leans against the wall, brim down, smoking a cigarette looking suspisiously at a dame.

I'm going home this weekend to travel with Mom and Dad to Little Rock, AR. We are going to the University of Arkansas Medical Services hospital. The UAMS Myeloma Institute for Research and Therapy is located there. Sam Walton had multiple myeloma and helped found the hospital over 20 years ago. They like to use the word "cure," and we like that word. Dad's Dr. in OKC was encouraging when mom and dad mentioned they would like to move his treatment to UAMS. Dad's cancer is not in remission yet, and although we have seen great improvements in his pain level and strength, his cancer level has not dropped since July 22nd. Since dad is stronger now, and Little Rock is only thisfar on a big map. We are loading up and moving out. It will be like starting over. He will have all of the tests to confirm diagnosis he first had in OKC. They want all of their own results to operate from. So beginning Tuesday morning he will start the tests again. He will not be hospitalized this time though, since he is not in the pain he was in before. We will come and go from the hospital for his appointments Tuesday through Thursday. Then on Friday morning at 11:00 we will meet with Dr. Sarah Waheed to discuss the stage of his diagnosis, and their suggested protocol. We know already they are breaking away from the standard protocol that is being done at all other hospitals treating multiple myeloma. Since UAMS is a research hospital they set the new standards. It is possible dad will ultimately have two bone marrow transplants. We'll do whatever. I know that is easy for me to say. I guess I mean we will be beside him through whatever as God opens doors and opportunities for treatments and healing. We will appreciate your prayers as we spend the week in Arkansas. Pray for Dad's comfort as we travel. It is about a 5 1/2 hour drive from Ponca. Pray for clear direction for the Dr's. as they plan a protocol for his treatment. Pray we enjoy our time together and maybe have a few golden moments. And especially pray momma is able to fight the urge to constantly tell me how to drive. Oh my word pray she fight the urge to tell me how to drive. But when she does, that I be patient.

Note to self: bring a blanket for the train next time, give thanks for time to sit still while moving at a high rate of speed, give thanks for music that drowns out Jer and Nancy, Robert and Deb. Give thanks for my brother who waits for me at the station. Give thanks for each golden moment passed, and yet to come.

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  1. we'll be praying for you all & Tim's doctors & for a safe, comfortable travel!