In Between

by - July 09, 2011

We are in the air again. This time going the opposite direction. I'm in between the world I used to know, where Daddy wasn't sick and I didn't have one memory from Addis Ababa; and the world where I will soon land where my Dad does have cancer and Addis Ababa is forever a part of me. The whole world has changed in a weeks time. God is still on His throne, and I am on my knees. I physically felt the prayers people were saying for me while I was away from my family last week. Each of your messages and notes meant so much to me, and felt like a life-line to home. There is no other explanation but prayer and God's grace for me getting out of bed and not only carrying on, but carrying on feeling merciful hope and even joy. I still can hardly believe this is happening, but astonishment doesn't equal devastation when you know the Lord. There truly is a peace that passes understanding that he gives us. I know who holds the future, and when before I may not have trusted that and tried to orchestrate some things myself, his faithfulness to me these past several years as I finally sought him first in all things has settled it firmly in my heart and my mind come what may. He is God, Creator, Redeemer, Savior, Lover of my Soul, Healer. And although He holds the universe in His hand, He wants me to pray to him and share with him my heart. My whole heart is to take away Dad's pain, heal him, let me hold his hand for many more years. The end, Amen. I am nervous to see him in the hospital. I know I will hold it together in front of him...but I may need to find someone to punch in the face after I leave. I've never really punched anyone in the face, but for some reason I think that would relieve some tension. Does anyone have a Weezah I could hit? I come from a line of Steel Magnolias.

As we fly over the Maritime Alps below, it should be mentioned that The Best of Van Morrison is a great album. Also, we landed in Rome last night to refuel. We weren't allowed to get off the plane, but I'm counting it. I've been to Rome.

On my hand right now in 8 year old English-as-a-second-language handwriting are the words "Jesus You Love." Yoseph wrote this on my hand as we told the kids goodbye earlier today, or yesterday, I don't know for sure what day it is anymore. I have carefully washed around it. I had thought before what a blessing these kids were getting with Ryan and Jessica; I knew Ryan and Jess would be blessed by the kids too, but I just can't describe how beautiful and special these kids are. They gush love. They are tender and thoughtful. They can work an ipod probably as well as Ryan, as the orphanages get a lot of mission team visits, and they pick things up fast. They are just flat out fun. They are 4 little people anyone would want to spend their everyday with. We had opportunity to take the kids to the guest house we were staying for a few hours to play. Here is the shirt 4 year old Eyasu, or as I like to call him "Bubble Gum" was wearing:

He already has. Their kids had best friends, Rich and Betty, who were with us the entire time while we were visiting at the orphanage. I could see at times on their faces a little concern seeing their friends meet their new "momma" so the three of us called ourselves the "friends" and had our picture taken together. Rich drew me a picture that says he loves me and so does Jesus. I was just waiting for God to say the word for me to bring him home as my son, but nothing yet...but I would.

Staying at the guesthouse was such a great experience. There were other families that came throughout the week to pick up their kids and bring them home. 7 year old Hannah and her new Daddy are travelling home to meet the rest of her new family after spending the last five years in an Ethiopian orphanage. They sit in front of me in row 39 as I type this from row 40 window seat A. She is playing on his i-pad, and every once and a while peeks back through the crack between the seats and shoots me a smile, or takes my picture with her new DS. Oh my word I love her. So does her new daddy whose hand she rarely lets go of. I know the feeling Hannah.

The guesthouse is also where I met someone who made this week lovely in more ways than one. It is surprising to meet someone and within a very short period of time get to a point where you will miss them. It is for me anyway. But, as I leave Addis Ababa even after this short period of time, there is someone more than just the kids I will miss. I'm an over thinker, and I process my way right out of things at times. But not him, not this week. Not mentioning him would be leaving out an important part of this complex story which has played out over long-distance phone calls, before my eyes, and in my heart these last few days. Don't ask me about him though. It's the Glenda in me that inspires me to write and share, it's the Tim in me that leads me to keep things quite a bit more private. I hope I have struck a good balance.

What a lovely, heart breaking 6 days in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. I'm not sure I recognize myself anymore. I think I'm still me though, and I pray God will make me more of who He wants me to be through all of this. Thanks again for your prayers...I'm almost home.

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  1. You can punch Lane. No one would argue. He broke the wisemen, afterall. :)

    I love you and I love your heart.