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Gracefully Frank

After a very long week...the week is over. Dad ended up spending a couple of days in the hospital as they cared for him through chemo reactions. His blood pressure continues to be very low, and he has had a lingering infection they are throwing several different antibiotics at. He has probably felt the worst he has ever felt this week. But on Friday morning they met with Dr. Waheed and her words were "the Myeloma is coming down very nicely. Excellent response." Breathe in. Breathe out. Praise the Lord for this report. The chemo is making him more sick as it heals what is attacking him. This pain is bringing him healing. It feels awkward to be thankful for that, but it is his long term healing we pray for.

I've had several conversations about this very thing lately. About having to fight hard battles to be set free from the chains that bind us, and how it can be a humbling painful experience... A close friend is coming through a struggle with addiction. The pain and hurt he is going through right now is bringing him healing. Doesn't make it easier, but makes it worth it. I am thankful for the pain of his sobriety that is moving him toward new life, over the pain of his addiction that was destroying him. I don't know if my friend is thankful for that everyday yet, but he is getting there one day at a time. Other friends are struggling through reprioritizing their lives. It has been a painful, humbling process for them to put God first in their lives and family as they understand more and more who they are in Him, and how the things of this world are temporary. It's hard to fight our nature, but it's worth it. For me, leaving my first life of trying to accomplish things all on my own was a painful experience. God had to take my strongholds and break them. My identity in my accomplishments and career, my pride. I could have denied it, avoided the pain and stayed right where I was, but when we call out to Him He moves on our behalf. He had to take me away from where I was not because of the place I was, but because of me in the place I was. I had many idols that I put above God, and that is not what I had promised Him in my youth when I first came to know Him as my Savior. My life felt empty no matter how much I tried to make it mean something. It was never going to satisfy me, because He had other plans for me. As soon as He heard me call out to Him after years of really only griping at Him, He guided me in the direction He had for me even though it was painful. Toward healing. Toward new life. Fresh air. Breath. Intimacy with Him. Peace. I would not go back to before the battle.

Whether its cancer, addiction, or pride fighting the battle brings us the healing God has for us. I'm so thankful my Dad and my Mom have the courage to fight. I'm so thankful as my friend celebrates 90 days of sobriety today, and I pray God continues to help him wage war. I'm so thankful as God gently breaks strongholds in my friends' lives that they continue to have the courage to step through the fog He is lifting. I'm so thankful that even when my heart deceives me, even when the enemy attacks me, God sends me gentle reminders of His love and purpose for my life and gives me the courage to trust Him with my moments, my days and my future.

This week Dad's battle has him wearing a mask anytime he is in public, getting his blood pressure regulated, and looking to the end of the week to possibly have his first bone marrow collection. After they collect it, the marrow will be treated for 4-6 weeks, then he will have the bone marrow transplant. The week after collection dad will meet with the neurosurgeon to determine the best course of action to address his C2 vertebra. We are uncertain of what tomorrow holds, but certain of Who holds tomorrow...to borrow a line I have no idea how to cite for credit. He will begin to lose his hair in the coming couple of weeks so I'm going to start hat shopping.

Our prayers are for mom and dad's comfort and rest, for the medicine to continue successfully fighting the myeloma, for the side effects to be few and mild, and for him to be protected from infection. He is getting blood transfusions and platelet transfusions. Mom and Dad are so grateful to be at UAMS where they have two appointments a day at the clinic to receive medicine and do blood work. I told Dad it has been a long time since he was in two-a-days. He said he's trying to get back up to his playing weight, but thinks he can do it. :) Two-A-Days are hard, but worth it.

Thank you all for praying for his continued healing.
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I'm on the train again. I've shown you the pictures before. It's the same tonight. I still kind of love it. I'm on my way to Oklahoma City to see my oldest niece Jordan perform in her school play.

I have two beautiful awesome nieces Jordan and Kaitlyn (Jordi and Birdie) and one amazing nephew (Shawn Michael). They are all three great kids and I could write about their talents and personalities and how much I love them, but also really really like them... But, Jordi is in this spotlight tonight because I'm travelling to see her in a literal spotlight, its her Senior year, and some of my friends will remember parts of her story. It's good to remember her story.

Jordan was born Christmas day of my senior year, and now she is a senior. (that part makes me puke) She came into this world in dramatic fashion. We tend to laugh a lot when all of our family is together. On Christmas Eve 1993, after some singing around the piano and laughing till we cried, my sister-in-law began the process of going into labor nearly 3 hours away from their doctor and hospital. Leigh is never one to make a fuss...so she just kind of quietly began keeping track of what was going on and by the wee hours of the morning I, who was asleep on a pallet consisting of a sheet and a Mamie quilt in front of the front door with cousins asleep in various spots on the floor around me, woke up to my brother and Leigh stepping over me to walk out the door. I somehow faded back into sleep, until maybe just 30 minutes later my parents were stepping over me, telling me to go ahead and sleep but they were following Chris and Leigh to Edmond because Leigh was in labor. "Ok. I'll go back to sleep. You guys drive safe." That's not at all what I said. They left though. And not too far behind them my cousin Riann and I were on the same road. And not too far behind us were the rest of our crew with Christmas dinner in ice chests heading to the Edmond hospital. They brought baby Jordan out in a Christmas stocking later that evening. Still one of my favorite days in all my days.

Jordan has not lost dramatic steam since that first day. She is enthusiastic, and inspires that in others. She's just fun to be around and play with. She dives into whatever she is into. Art, soccer, youth group, AP Euro. I went to Arizona to stay with the kids one time while Chris and Leigh were going out of town. Jordi was in early elementary school. She liked Happy Days. So she would set her alarm early and get herself ready so she could watch it before going to school. I would get out of bed and find her sitting in the dark, totally ready for school, backpack on, watching Fonzie. Kind of freaked me out a little. She's just totally herself. Unaffected. Good head on her shoulders. Does what she wants. I admire her.

At 1, she moved to Oregon. At about 3, she was doing Elvis impersonations and ballet class. At 4, she became a big sister for the first time and then moved from Oregon to Arizona. She sang songs in foreign languages, didn't take no for an answer, and would end long distance phone calls with "call me tomorrow!" She liked talking on the phone. At 5, she was the flower girl at our cousin Jennifer's wedding and and the following week she was diagnosed with leukemia. The world stopped, and changed forever. Long story short: She's a senior this year in her school play. When she was going through cancer she would tell you she had the "geeky leukemia." When she lost all her hair one of the first hats she wore out in public was a witch's hat from Halloween. Then she wore a pink headband on her precious little bald head until all of her hair grew back. She told her cousin Ian when he spent the night "I'm taking my headband off, and I don't have any hair." Ian said, "I know." She thought her puffy cheeks and belly from the medicine were funny. As a little artist, one time after coming home from the hospital she drew a picture of herself in her hospital bed. She drew a man standing by her bed. "Who is that Jordan?" "That was Jesus" she said. 5 year olds get to see what we sometimes can't.

I got to take Jordan's Senior pictures a few weeks ago. Here are a few of my favorites:















So tomorrow night we will watch her perform in her play. She will undoubtedly be the best one up there, just ask any of us. :) Play hard. Ride the train. Love the people you love with all your guts, till you're worn out. Be enthusiastic. Jordan Sierra Scully. Things I'm thinking about tonight.

Here is another of my favorite pictures of Jordi. She was in her hospital bed at age 5. Pink headband, bald head, princess pillow, all her toys and enthusiasm. If you look close you might be able to see Him. He was there. She drew His picture.
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