Gracefully Frank

For my last few blogs I did a lot of going back in time. But for this blog we rejoin the present, already in progress.

This blog is going to be short on words (maybe, I'm not done with it yet), and long on pictures. I'm preparing to get on another internationally bound airplane.  I looked back (for just a minute) to remember when I first knew I was going to Ethiopia and my thoughts were “how am I going to do this?” “How am I going to convince people to help me?” So, my third post ever I wrote out the whole story, and threw in some closing arguments. Thinking somehow I needed to convince people to help. I knew it was God who provided, but I thought my words had to do the convincing. I not only asked How?, I also asked Why?  I remember talking with Jessica and others about wondering why God would want me to go on that trip, it wasn’t my adoption. It wasn’t my story. But, each time we say "yes" to God, we take a step down the path He has for us. It was part of His story for me...I just didn't know it yet.  I always wish I knew the future.  Most of my struggles tend to be centered around my lack of knowledge of it.  Hindsight tends to be generous with me though.  I now look forward to hindsight.  I'm learning to not hold my breath and walk with my eyes closed waiting for it, because I know it's coming.

The trip to Ethiopia led me down a path that eventually took me to India. I had context.  God created in me a very high need for context. I could fathom going to India, because He had taken me to Ethiopia...and safely back.   I'm sure for people who have travelled extensively probably find it silly that its was such a big deal. It wasn't like a trip to Mars.  But, it was for me.  For India, I still had to raise some funds personally, so I went to the blog again thinking I needed to explain and ask again. I prayed for at least $200 dollars right away because my visa was going to cost that much and I needed to get it quickly. My first donation was for $200. I didn’t ask for that specifically from anyone but God. He put it on their heart.  And ultimately what was given was enough to cover my hotel cost and some of my incidentals.  Just as had been required.  It wasn’t my words; it never was and never will be. It is “not by might, nor by power, but by His Spirit.” Let’s go ahead and say nor by eloquent, run-on sentences with poor punctuations, either. (I write as if I’m talking, and I don’t check for run-on sentences while speaking. I know some of you have noticed.)   The point is:  God is. He will orchestrate and provide.  He will do what He says He will do.  A line from Believing God by Beth Moore that I read while I still lived in Tulsa.  Be careful reading it, God will change you.  Because of His faithfulness in these paths He has led me down, he has set me like flint to just say yes and then share the story as an invitation for it to be part of your story of what God may call you to say yes to as well. Too many "to's" in that previous sentence, probably not enough punctuation.  I'm sorry.  Please keep reading...   

So this time, I'm not asking because I know God will provide (ref: Texas, Ethiopia, India), but I am sharing the story and inviting you to be a part of it.  Hopefully, it is a little more softly and tenderly...than desperately and fearfully. I'm not going to climb up a tower and starve myself.  It's just here is what is going on, would you pray and see if God is leading you to help.  Maybe He is, or maybe He has you helping somewhere else.  It's all His deal and all for His glory.  Love is a way better motivation than guilt or fear. In May I’m travelling to Sri Lanka with a group from the ministry where I work. I had never heard about the needs in this country, maybe you haven’t either. So, here is the story and please pray to see if possibly by His Spirit, you are to be a part of it.

In the past two years Sri Lanka has just come out of a 28 year civil war. Politics do not matter for reference of this story. The damage has been done, and the consequences are being lived out daily by the survivors. In one area of the country there is an estimated 80,000 widows, where it is believed 100,000 people have died in this little country south of India. These widows who do not see Hope, are committing suicide rapidly, as they come out from under war and are trying to adjust to the life that is left.  Not a war of words, or of parties, but a war that brought complete devastation.

Our ministry has been working with church groups in-country to open Hope Centers, with the goal of having several locations within the next few years. Through donations to our ministry we help them establish a location, get into partnership with the publisher out of India who provides Hope For The Heart Counseling materials in their languages, and then we come and provide training. Hope for their heart first through Jesus Christ and the Word of God meeting them right where they are. Then they spread Hope through these centers, like fire. “By His Spirit.”

Our Director of International Ministry travelled there recently and helped conduct a widows conference to encourage and equip those who have been ravaged by this war. Out of that conference young women who have been called by God to counsel and help those around them have come forward to facilitate the Hope Centers they desperately need. In May, we will meet with these church leaders and the women who will be operating these Hope Centers to encourage and train them. Beyond the cost of our travel, it costs about $150 on average to bring people to the city where we will be holding the event. That includes their travel and accommodations for our two day conference. We also hope to hold an open house at one of the locations that has recently opened near a slum area, to minister to the counselors there, the abandoned children of the slums and the families who live in that region. Drawing them to Hope. Drawing them to a safe Dwelling. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say to the Lord, My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1-2. Maybe some of you would be able to help sponsor or co-sponsor one of them to attend. Here are pictures our Director brought home from his recent trip to help tell this story…


The Aftermath of War:

Many are still completely exposed to the ravages of a war that lasted nearly 30 years.

For years thousands of war refugees lived on these beaches.  As of a couple of years ago, they are no longer...



Our Director stopped to take a picture of this old bus.

Then she crawled out from under it.  That old bus is her home.  Her dwelling place.  She allowed him to take her picture.  She is one of the thousands who need Hope.



Seminar attendees.

Hope is building while she sleeps, and will be waiting for her.

 

These women will work in the Hope Center in their community.  At least one of them will be at our training conference in May.

In 1928 the Head of E.W. Marland’s gas pipeline network built a house on a lot given to him for naming his firstborn son after the man responsible for handing out city lots. His lot was in the 800 block of North Fourteenth Street, in Ponca City, Oklahoma, directly across the street from the fence boundary of Marland’s estate. Dan Kygar, who was a hunting companion of E.W. Marland had made a run into the Ponca City area during the Cherokee Strip of September 16, 1893. He was a Barber, the President of the Kay County Gas Company, and a few years after building this home became Mayor of Ponca City.[1] During his time as Mayor the famous 101 Ranch was up for sale, and Al Capone who was in prison at the time, made a run at purchasing 2,000 acres of the Ranch. When asked about Capone’s offer, Dan Kygar responded with this:

          “I have no information in regard to the purchase of the famous 101 Ranch by
          the Capone brothers. But we have outlived the Dalton’s, Al Jennings, Ben Cravens,
          Henry and Belle Starr, Al Spencer and four gubernatorial impeachments. If the Capone’s
          can give us new thrills, send them along, but advise them to bring their bodyguards. All
          Oklahomans excel in steer juggling, bronc busting, and bulldogging. They take theirs
          straight. Advise them to spike their weak beer with some of our hill corn and make their
          advance. The old ranch has already been tamed by the encroachments of civilization. A
          little Chicago culture will do no harm. Inform the Capone brothers they should see me
          first. I’ll extend them an Oklahoma welcome where children cut their teeth on 45s and
          30-30s and the keys to the city and assure them protection until they have become
          acclimated. After that, they look out for themselves." [2]

The deal fell through, and the Capone’s didn’t come to Ponca. On the night Dan Kygar was quoted as saying these words, he went home to bed at 816 North Fourteenth Street. He rode up into that driveway, walked through that front door and maybe told his wife about the Capone’s wanting to buy the Ranch. Same front door. Same floors. Same walls. Same stairs. Same fireplace. That home was a setting for his scenes. Although no Kygars remain living in the home (we’ve looked in all the closets) their story is part of the story of the home. They are integral to its history, but not the other way around.




As a little kid in the late 70’s and early 80’s the main thing I noticed driving by that house was the Cain’s Coffee truck that usually sat in the driveway. Our house, our church, my school where all down other streets, so if we were driving by 816 North Fourteenth Street, it usually meant 1 of 2 things:  we were either coming or going from Barnsdall, or Lessert field. Either we had a car full of suitcases, or Chris or I were in baseball uniforms with a ball glove on our hand. The house looked big and a little dreary with moons cut in the shutters. I bet the house smelled like coffee (at least once a day it still does). While the Cain’s Coffee Man owned it, they were robbed blind one day...

Mrs. Vance, who was elderly by then, but as a young woman had worked for Marland Oil and was the first female executive for an oil company in the United States, lived in the home she and her husband had built next door to the south of 816.  She walked over as a large moving truck pulled into the driveway and began unloading the house in broad day light. She told the movers she didn’t know her neighbor’s were leaving. The official looking movers reassured her they were. They weren’t. (There is an alarm system now.) Thankfully they didn’t follow Mrs. Vance across the yard where treasures from her life travelling the world in the 20’s and 30’s as an Executive with Marland Oil sat behind her front door. Audrey Vance. She was amazing. She and her husband Joe, who had been coach for the American Legion Baseball teams after leaving pro-baseball, never had children, but she felt like she helped raise "100’s of Ponca's sons" as her home was always full of them. She had memories and stories from around Kay and Osage counties and around the world. She went from being a teenage school teacher in a one room school house in Osage County to witnessing a school of white whales swimming alongside the ship she and a group of Marland's people were travelling on off the coast of Alaska. That was one of the most amazing things she ever saw. As I sat across from her at the little table where her solitaire cards were usually laid out, listening to her tell me stories from those days I didn't fully appreciate how precious those scenes were.

We don’t know about all the scenes that have taken place in our house. Many more people that I don’t know have lived and walked through those doors.

But,...

I do know one day we moved in. I still remember that day. It was the 4th of July between my 4th and 5th grade year. I was “packing” in my room undisturbed by what all was going on in the rest of our house on Oriole Street. I had closed the door where my poster of Bo and Luke sitting on top of the General Lee was taped up, and was supposed to be loading the 2 or 3 boxes sitting on my bed with my stuff. Seriously, my room was basically untouched, and in no way would make one believe I wouldn’t be going to bed there that night. I think I still didn’t really get it. I fiddled with all of my little girl trinkets I was pulling out of the drawers….until all of a sudden Daddy swooped in and told me to go find mom. As I walked out of the room, he started to pack…not taking time to find delight in my Smurfy figurines and sticker collection. As I walked into the living room, every thing was gone. Next thing I know, I lived somewhere else. The Cain’s Coffee Man’s house. 816 North Fourteenth Street. Our family had a new setting for our scenes. We became part of the history of this house, integral to its story…but not the other way around. Regardless of the setting, God made us a family. Our scenes are part of His plans for us. Scenes for His glory and our good, in any setting. (PS "integral" is a word that I can type, but that I cannot say. Even as I sit here and practice it aloud. It nevers sounds right, but it types right.) 

I don’t mean not integral in the way of not appreciated…but more so in the way of not essential to our story because our story is about family, and while we are family on this earth our story is to be about: doing justice, loving kindness and walking humbly with God. The setting can be anywhere...even Texas. Trusting Him with the path before us, as we grow in relationship with Jesus Christ and reflect His gospel in our lives…seems like a tall order, but its mostly about just saying yes and living faithful…which we learn more about everyday. 816 North Fourteenth has been a great setting for family get-togethers, prom pictures, sleepovers, movie watching, coffee drinking, healing, laughing, crying, visiting, reading, cooking, yard work, working on cars…not unlike any of our homes on any other street. We have loved almost every bit of it! I say almost because by the time we moved in my parents had to do some pretty major work, and apparently that isn’t always fun. We didn’t have central air conditioning until well after I graduated Highschool, and our heater was a boiler in the basement with radiators throughout the house that had pipes that banged so loud we would joke about maybe calling the Ghostbusters. (If we didn't joke, we might have run out screaming.)  All of that uncertainty about the house is gone now. If there were ghosts, they left when the boiler did. Now, it runs like a machine. It has been a fascinating and beautiful setting for our scenes. Mom and Dad have been good stewards of 816 North Fourteenth Street, taking care of what did not come to them without coming through the Father’s hands. They will definitely be leaving it better than they found it, and ready to be a setting for another family, because it is time for our scenes to be set someplace new.

The setting isn’t integral. (still can't say it) The scenes are the point. And as God does in my life, as He is doing in lives we witness, as He is able to do in your life, God is graciously leading Mom and Dad in a new direction and a new setting (we do not know the address yet). Each step toward Him, is the right direction for them. Their new scenes will still be filled with family, our Magnolias family and Grace, but will be set somewhere around Edmond, Oklahoma where Chris, Leigh and two third’s of their grandkids live and where they will have some new neighbors to get to know. They are following the scenes and not demanding to hold onto their current setting and force scenes to take place there to grow tired and weary of it. They are leaving it with a willingness of heart, evidence of God’s grace in these plans for their next home. They are saying “yes, Lord” like they have so many times before because they know that…”Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:6 This is where, in times of change, peace stems: from knowing the Shepherd, and where He ultimately leads.

So, the stake that Kygar put down on Fourteenth Street will be passed to the next family to hold steady. To keep the Capone’s out of town, the coffee brewing, the pipes from banging and its story from being untold. Someone new will walk through the front door each day, and imprint their scenes into the story of this house. It is time for the history of the house to take a new path, and it is a precious time of trust and faithfulness for Mom and Dad.




“Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6: 26-33

Peace always begins with seeking God, so usually does the battle, and so usually the adventure.

House for Sale: Historic home in Ponca City, Oklahoma. 816 North Fourteenth Street.



[1] Walton, John Brooks, and Kathy Adams. More Historic Homes Of Ponca City and Kay County. Tulsa, JBW Publications. 2005.

[2] Brumley, Kim. Marland Tragedy: The Turbulent Story of a Forgotten Oklahoma Icon. Tate Publishing. 2010.