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Gracefully Frank

“Oh! The Places You’ll Go!” By God’s Grace, for me, it looks like that is going to include Ethiopia. Even a week ago, I never would have thought Africa would be on my travel itinerary. Truth be told, I’m kind of a sissy, and Africa seems a little ominous to me. I have admired my friends like Seth and Marianne, and Sarah, and Heidi and Joel who love Africa, and have felt a call on their lives to serve there. Me, I’ve been thinking about mission opportunities in Ireland. You know, just keeping my eyes open. J





However, when you pray “Lord, send me” He gets to choose where, and it is usually where we never dreamed; and the blessing is far beyond our expectations. The last 4 years of my life are a testimony to that truth. My last blog was about my time in Austin with my friends Ryan and Jessica Walling, not every blog I write will include them, but...Ryan and Jessica are High School sweethearts who have been married for nearly 12 years. For those of you who understand the pain of infertility, you can understand their journey. For those of you, who don’t understand infertility, just consider one of your biggest heartbreaks…now you can relate. Several years ago Ryan and Jessica began the process of international adoption. God has patiently and persistently led them to adopt in Ethiopia.

Here is where the story for them gets a little bit radical. Ryan and Jessica have committed, after much prayer and confirmation, to adopt a sibling group of 4 orphans in Ethiopia who have lost both of their parents. I look forward to sharing pictures of these beautiful children ranging in ages from 4 to 13. Their smiles are breathtaking considering the loss and difficulties these precious hearts have experienced. Others from Ryan and Jessica’s agency who have travelled to the orphanage have met these children and are moved by their grace and hope. Ryan and Jess are so excited to welcome them into their hearts and home.

Then, Jessica found out she is expecting. How often do we hear of God moving this way? They had been told for years that it was a 98% certainty they would never conceive, but now they have been told this is not even a high-risk pregnancy. This baby and pregnancy are developing perfectly. Ryan and Jessica are experiencing the miracle of life and the blessing of children in ways only our amazing God could orchestrate. He’s kind of a big deal, and Ryan and Jessica trust Him with everything, even with what seems impossible.

So how does that equal me going to Ethiopia? Part of the requirements of Ryan and Jessica adopting their kids, is they both have to meet the children before they bring them home. Jessica is due to deliver in October. Bottom line: Jess has to go before she is too far along in her pregnancy to travel; and then she won’t be able to travel for months once the baby she is carrying is born. They have been praying for guidance for someone to travel with Jessica, so Ryan, who is a Family and Youth Pastor in Austin, will be able to preserve vacation time and funds so he may go when they are finally given their date to bring the kids home; hopefully within the next year. As their friend, I have been praying God would work it out for someone to travel with Jess, too.

I never considered maybe that would be me for a couple of reasons: I’m not a very good airplane passenger. Some of you know this about me. Ethiopia is a long long way away. However, I recently flew to Israel and back with mom and dad, and because of much prayer I actually enjoyed the flights. I even enjoyed the 11 hour flight to Tel Aviv where I watched some movies, read a little, and pretended I was on a secret government mission. (I like to play pretend. Don’t worry about it.) The other is I can’t imagine how I would afford to do something like this. I only have two days of vacation built up; I am fresh out of grad-school and don’t have a savings built up, and I, I, I…I can be ridiculous. I wake up thinking about going, and that thought continues throughout the day. I think I get it, but can’t do this on my own.

So here is the deal: I am asking for help from my friends. If you have just read this please support what God is clearly and intentionally doing for these 5 kids: the 4 who are half way across the world, and the 1 Jessica is lovingly carrying. Consider helping for Ryan and Jessica in their love for the Lord and for Solomon, Rahel, Yoseph, Eyasu, and baby “what’s it’s name?”; and for me as I am so blessed by these friends, and by our God who calls me to show love this way (knowing that I will be the one blessed).

The decision for me to go with Jessica has literally just been confirmed in the last 48 hours, and we are travelling the first week in July. Please prayerfully consider donating any amount. You may give through my PayPal account by clicking on the “DONATE” button on the right hand side of this blog toward the top of the page. Or, you may donate by mailing me a check. Please e-mail me at haleyscully@yahoo.com and I will send you my address. What is given will help me make up for unpaid leave I will take from work, then for travel arrangements for this trip including airfare and vaccinations. Any that is left over will go for future travel arrangements when Ryan will return to Ethiopia to bring the kids home. I will continue to share this story with you through writing and pictures. Thanks for your help, may you be blessed by your giving, and to God be the glory.
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I have lived in Texas for over three years now and this weekend I finally got my first taste of Austin. Weird-cool Austin. This city gets a lot of hype as being a place unlike any other. Music, food, vibe. Willie Nelson lives there. Who is more weird-cool than Willie? I didn't stay with Willie though. I finally went to stay with Ryan and Jessica Walling, or more appropriately stated: I finally went to stay with family. This was our first time to visit while wearing pajamas. I was surprised to learn they sleep in matching footy pj's, but it works for them, and I loved catching up and talking it all out as we solved world issues. They don't really sleep in matching footy pj's. I don't have friends that do that.

I had said it would be a miracle if I slept till 8 am Saturday morning, but encouraged them to sleep as long as they wanted. At 9 am I rolled out of bed, proving myself wrong again for the eleventy-billionth time. We went to their favorite breakfast taco dive, and it was really good, but ultimately I think refried beans shouldn't happen at breakfast. Then we went to some thrift shops, and on to SoCo or South Congress Street. It was as billed: weird and cool. I bought a CD off of two guys with a banjo, a guitar and a harmonica who hadn't seen a shower in days. I haven't stopped listening to their music yet.

My favorite thing to do, outside of doing what I do, is taking pictures. So I chronicled some of the sights we saw through my camera. Here are a few of my favorites. They don't necessarily make sense, but I like looking at them:


                                       


                              

                                         


                                        

                              

                                        

                             

                            

                                         

Austin was great. Ryan and Jess went to a graduation for one of his students, so I got a little alone time at Starbucks. Then we had dinner and finished with Bananagrams at their house. Ryan won every game, however Jessica and I are still cooler than him. Winning Bananagrams doesn't change that.

We spent Sunday morning at Anderson Mills where Ryan serves as the Youth Pastor, then had an amazing lunch at Sandra Bullock's restaurant: http://www.bessbistro.com/. Between the grits, brick walls, old pictures, chandeliers and the DJ spinning Motown...you may want to live there. I did.

Finally back on the road again. I stopped in Temple to put together a flower arrangement in memory of my ggGrandfather whose grave is located in Waco. He came to America from Ireland, and died in Waco in 1896, when my gGrandpa Tom was 2 years old. I am an ancestry geek. Don't judge, you are probably a geek about something too.


                            

So...Go to Austin if you get the chance; buy a CD off the street; have dinner, stay up late, play games with people who know you really well; and put flowers on the grave of someone who should be remembered.

Thanks to my weird-cool hosts for your friendship and for humoring me when I say "don't move" and then let me take your picture. Everyone should have a Ryan and Jess.

                             
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There are two independent lines of thought I have been struggling with for a few weeks. The first prompted by counseling with individuals whose struggles are similar to my own. Some of them struggling for many more years than me, and still not seeing hope; not being at peace. These sessions have been difficult for me as they have surfaced fears and disappointments in my own life that I believed were secure because of the hope I have in Christ. And yet here they are describing the same struggles, claiming the same hope, but after 10 years, 20 years, still feeling the same disappointments. Why is God not working in their lives? And why do I believe He is at work in mine?

The second is the desire to have a deeper appreciation for God's grace. I hear of, and at times work with, individuals who have been saved out of abuse, sickness, pain, addictions. They at times weep over their salvation and their redemption. We may both know that through faith in Jesus Christ we have been saved from an eternity separated from God, but many of these people have seen Hell in this life. I have seen pain and hardships, but I have been protected from experiencing the true devastations of disaster and abuse. I do not long for Hell in order to better understand grace...I just long to know Him more, and want that depth of relationship with Him.

These two things have been stirring in me, separately with no connection until today. In quiet time this morning, I prayed for the struggles of my clients; I thanked God for the inheritance of blessing and faith in my life and family that has protected me from going through the pain they have experienced. I went on to pray that he would help me to have a deeper appreciation for my need for his grace, that I would know it is not cheap. That I would not miss knowing him more, because I miss knowing just how much I need Him.

Then, I opened "My Utmost for His Highest" as I have done nearly every day since a friend gave me this daily devotion book in 1994. Here is what I read:

"When God wants to show you what human nature is like apart from Himself, He has to show it to you in yourself. If the Spirit of God has given you a vision of what you are apart from the grace of God (and He only does it when His spirit is at work), you know there is no criminal who is half as bad in actuality as you know yourself to be in possibility. My 'grave' has been opened by God and 'I know that in me, (that is in my flesh), dwelleth no good thing.' God's Spirit continually reveals what human nature is like apart from His grace."

I didn't realize God was bringing these thoughts to a revelatory intersection. I am beginning to understand that through these hurting people, and the humbling opportunity to walk alongside them in their pain, God has already been answering my prayer of deepening my appreciation of his grace. He has allowed me to identify with them in order to comprehend who I am without His grace: I am them. I am afraid. I am hurt. I am angry. I am abusive. I am unfaithful. I am arrogant. I am hurtful. I am self-absorbed. I am devastated. I am blind. I am spiraling. I am lost. I am deceived. I am broken. I am hopeless. At any moment I could choose to take my eyes off of Him and give in to the despair I have seen in them, and considered myself. But, by His grace, my faith is anchored, and I can point the way. I am tempted, but His grace keeps me secure. By His amazing grace, not by coincidence, these people sit across from me sharing their pain. Their despair is pushing them back to their hope, the hope and comfort He has shown me. God does not hold a grudge that they have lost hope, have given in to temptation, or that I have moments of doubt. There is no sacrifice he will not endure to secure our hope in him and eternity with him. Not the sacrifice of our pain, or the sacrifice of His Son. Some lose hope. We all lose sight at times; but He is at work, and His grace is sufficient.
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